Wednesday, April 11, 2007
♥12:06 AM
Not feeling good.. not because i'm not feeling well, it's the feeling in me..
He seem to have changed.. i told him he had changed and he admitted it.. the change in him is causing us to drift apart.. We aren't that couple that we used to be anymore.. i could clearly feel that he doesn't 'need' me any longer.. i really dun remember when did we spend our happiest time together the last time.. all tis mths that we were together, i really couldn't remember we had fun and great time.. i couldn't remember when did we really had a good laugh together..
He told me the only thing in his mind now is money..
I blame his dad for it.. all cuz his dad kept on brain washing him wit all the future tats waiting for him and for tat, we had not been out together for months! Every weekend, his dad would wan to mit him up and tell him the same thing over and over again.. if not, they will be out to hse viewing! i really hv no idea who i'm dating, him or his dad? i really hate it..
Last week, i asked him, 'can u dun go out wit ur dad and keep me company on juz 1 sat?' and he told me he can't.. he said if his dad call him out, he will go..
It juz break my heart totally.. and he also mention tat i'm not understanding enff.. i'm juz asking for one sat.. is tat alot?
Eventually he didn't went out and accompany me but he ended up telling me tis, 'u see lah.. all because of u, i didn't go out wit my dad..' I was totally caught by his word, speechless and all the emotion came rushing into me..
That word totally break my heart and he really had no idea at all.. It might seems harmless saying that, but did he know he's slowly hurting me all these while? He's been telling me how not understanding i am.. but did he actually think of wat he's saying? he would juz say me on the smallest things.. saying tat i'm fat, lazy and watever.. but when did i ever point out his bad point infront of him?
Why muz he hurt me wit all the words? =(
Does he really not need me anymore or do i really not stand any position in his heart any longer?
He meant the world to me, but what am i to him?
