Emo little miie

Sunday, May 18, 2008

♥9:35 PM

I'm finally back after 1mth.. frankly speaking, i really dun felt like blogging anymore.. my blog is mainly juz about me & him..

It's been 2 weeks since we brokeup.. we broke up on our 3yrs 2mth anniversary.. he treated me very harshly.. so harsh tat i dun even know tats him toking to me.. i felt so terribly hurt =( i swear i've never been hurt so badly before.. ever..
Everyday i wakes up, i kept telling myself tis, 'it's another new day for me! jia you jia you!' but everytime nite fall, i can't stop thinking about him again..

In tis 3 years, my life is totally about him.. i committed all my time and everything to him.. he's always my priority.. i put everything about him first before myself.. everything i do, it's always him tat comes 1st in my mind..

I never expect such thing to happen to me.. never.. i always tot he's would be the only one for me.. but no.. i'm not the only one for him.. i always tot we are a perfect couple, a perfect match.. i tot he would hold on to my hand till the day we get old.. but no, it's not..

Promises are really meant to be broken..

If u happen to be reading tis, let me tell u wat are the promises u made and told me in the past..

I promise i would never make u cry again..
When i get rich one day, i wanna take u out on a holiday..
When i turn 21, i hope we can go register our marriage..
When we hv our family next time, i wanna bring our kids out every Sunday, it would be our family day.. we would go fishing, cycling hv dinner and stroll on the beach..
When i wake up in the morning, i would wan u to make me my favourite waffle..
I wan to make u a happy bride when we get married..
I wan to hv kids.. cuz i luv children..
If i ever forget about out past, pls remind me of the past..
I dun give anyone flower.. not even my mother and teacher.. by giving u tis, it show how much i love u..
I dun buy ring for any gfs cuz giving ring means something.. but we've got tis ring..
You are the one gf tat i really can't afford to buy u alot of stuffs.. i know u kelian.. but i promise u a better life next time..

I did.. i reminded u of our past.. the happy and sad moment.. every single word tat u told me seems to be engraved on me..

From the 1st day we met, the 1st time u held my hand, the 1st time u hugged me, the 1st time we stroll at pasir ris park, looking at stars, the word tat u told me when we were together.. u told me u would take care of me forever.. it was so sweet and i really tot i hv found a nice guy to rely on for the rest of my life.. every single word tat u said touches my heart deeply..

I would always remember how u used to protect me and love me.. giving me all the best thing u could afford to..

Tis breakup is really making me devastated.. i seem to hv lost everything overnight.. i felt so blank, empty and lost.. i've never felt so lost before.. i'm so lost i dun know wat i'm doin everyday..

I know it's easier for u to forget me cuz you hv too much friends around you to keep u entertained and keep u occupied everyday.. u hv lots n lots of beautiful gals surrounding u everyday, u r spoilted for choices.. beautiful, sexy.. whichever u wan.. i'm juz too normal to be spotted.. i'm juz a passer by whom u might nt even notice now..

I know u are very happy everyday.. tis breakup dun seem to bother u at all.. i know i can't get u off my mind so quickly.. all the promises tat u promise me, i've no idea how much of it can u keep.. maybe none or maybe, u hv already broke all of it.. but it's doesn't matter anymore cuz promises never seem to be wit u..

The last word u told me when i cried in ur arm at ur hse, 'dun worry k.. anything happened you still got laogong to help you..' u r not helping me anymore, you just gave me the hardest fall.. but i felt so comforted when u told me tat.. i miss ur hug, u always make me feel very secured in ur hug.. u make me feel very safe when u r around..

I'm so used to taking care of u, so used to do everything for u.. i know u dun need me anymore.. i know u could jolly well take care of urself.. or maybe, someone else is already taking care of u.. hopefully she's the rite one for u.. i know someone else would take care of u better den i do.. i've never done enff for u.. i'm sorry~ i really wish you happiness from the bottom of my heart..

Tks for giving me a beautiful 3 years.. it's been so memorable to me and i swear, no one ever shower so much love on me ever.. Maybe like wat others always say, First love always hurts.. Yes~ it's hurting me very badly.. i only hope tat you won't forget about me so quickly..

The End ♥